Nell Flaherty’s Drake

My name it is Nell, quite candid I tell

I live near Coote Hill, I will never deny

I had a large drake, the truth for to spake,

That my grandmother left me and she going to die

He was wholesome and sound, he weighed twenty pound

And the universe round would I rove for his sake

Bad luck to the robber, both drunken or sober

The monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drake

His neck it was green, most rare to be seen

He was fit for a queen of the highest degree

His body t’was white, it would you delight

He was plump, fat and heavy, and brisk as a bee

This dear little fellow, his legs they were yellow

He’d fly like a swallow, or dive like a hake

Till some wicked savage, to grease his white cabbage

Has murdered Nell Flaherty’s beautiful drake

May his pig never grunt, may his cat never hunt

That a ghost him may haunt in the dead of the night

May his hen never lay, may his ass never bray

May his goat fly away like an old paper kite

That the flies and the fleas may the wretch ever tease

And a bitter north breeze make him tremble and shake

May a four year old bug make a nest in the lug

Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drake

May his pipe never smoke may his teapot be broke

And to add to the joke, may his kettle ne’er boil

May he ne’re rest in bed, til the hour he is dead

May he always be fed on lobscouse and fish oil

May he swell with the gout till his grinders fall out

May he roar, bawl, and shout with a horrid toothache

May his temples wear horns and all his toes corns

The monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drake

May his spade never dig, may his sow never pig

May each nit in his wig be as large as a snail

May his door have no latch may his house have no thatch

Make the turkey not hatch, may the rats eat his kale

May every old fairy from Cork to Dunleary

Dip him snug and airy in some pond, or a lake

Where the eel and the trout may dine on the snout

Of the monster that murder Nell Flaherty’s drake

May his dog yelp and howl with the hunger and cold

May his wife always scold till his brain goes astray

May the curse of each hag, who e’er carried a bag

Light on the wag till his beard turns gray

May monkeys still bite him, and mad apes still fight him

And every one slight him, asleep and awake

May weasels still gnaw him, and jackdaws still claw him

The monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drake

The only good news that I have diffuse is

That Long Peter Hughes and Blind Piper McPeake

That Big Nose Bob Manson and Buck Tooth Bob Hansen

Each man has the grandson of my darling drake